Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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