maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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