Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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