my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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