Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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