break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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