We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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