Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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