Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics

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(949): if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics http://tfl.nu/rqml

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.

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(708): I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle. http://tfl.nu/qqv1

Replies (12) Good night (466) Bad night (3943) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.

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(440): Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic. http://tfl.nu/n8qw

Replies (18) Good night (4581) Bad night (490) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?

(585): View more from New York

hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that

(516): View more from New York

is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?

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(516): ...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year? (585): hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that (516): is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ? http://tfl.nu/juy6

Replies (139) Good night (7662) Bad night (1074)
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(407): View more from Florida

cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.

(1-407): View more from Florida

the diet of an alcoholic...

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(407): cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks. (1-407): the diet of an alcoholic... http://tfl.nu/3a7v

Replies (15) Good night (4088) Bad night (598) Order T-Shirt
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(251): View more from Alabama

Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.

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(251): Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game. http://tfl.nu/jamc

Replies (18) Good night (4857) Bad night (800) Order T-Shirt
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(732): View more from New Jersey

It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.

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(732): It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that. http://tfl.nu/ljyh

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(516): View more from New York

she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.

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(516): she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude. http://tfl.nu/2mtw

Replies (6) Good night (1991) Bad night (1773) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.

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(608): Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer. http://tfl.nu/9xrq

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.

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(248): You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/57rh

Replies (3) Good night (2485) Bad night (669)
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(284): View more from British V.I.-Carib

they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.

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(284): they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration. http://tfl.nu/df1l

Replies (4) Good night (1332) Bad night (588) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS

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(203): WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS http://tfl.nu/964x

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.

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(603): I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/zhxc

Replies (3) Good night (706) Bad night (1270)
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(352): View more from Florida

You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.

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(352): You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time. http://tfl.nu/k82l

Replies (10) Good night (2274) Bad night (553)
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(647): View more from Ontario

He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.

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(647): He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well. http://tfl.nu/9cil

Replies (3) Good night (601) Bad night (139)

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