god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize