i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
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Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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