I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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