I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize