I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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