my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
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The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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