HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
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someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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