I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize