im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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