You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize