He told me they were just razor bumps!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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