I heard we made out
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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