im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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