I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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