I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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