how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
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I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
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I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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