i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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