that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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