I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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