just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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