What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
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He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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