I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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