Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize