I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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