Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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