so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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