I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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