WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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