My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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