dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
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He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
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I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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