There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
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Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
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have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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