WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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