3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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