she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize