shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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