Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize