Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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