how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize