Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We named our party play list daddy issues
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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