On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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