great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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