There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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